3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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