What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
