I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
