What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
