so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
