I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
