just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
