Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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