my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
