We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize