Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize