Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
