i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
