the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Come see our sink grown plant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
