I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
