after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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