that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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