dude i'm inner monologue high
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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