Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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