I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
