a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
