I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
