y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
