Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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