who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
