Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
