Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
