Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Boobs speak an international language.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
