once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
