I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
