I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Randomize
