After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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