I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We got so high we made milksteak
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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