Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
