We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
