If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
