There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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