Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
