lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
