If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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