Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
