I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
