i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
