I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
