Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
