i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
