Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
