1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize