help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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