I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
