my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
