There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
