You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize