on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
