Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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