I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
