I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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