Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
